When it comes to my personal life, I prefer no questions. I don’t mind questions from a friend. I usually can handle questions during a conversation with an acquaintance. My husband, who loves questions, had to teach me how to accept them as a part of normal conversation. I used to feel put off by people who just met me and asked a ton of questions. Now, I try to go with the flow and I ask a few questions myself. Its probably because I dislike small talk that I dislike questions so much.
As a parent, though, I have been introduced to a whole new line of questioning. And I abhor it.
What is he doing?
Can he talk?
What does he say?
Is he walking?
No? followed by…Gasp!
What does he eat?
Are you going to have a girl next?
Is he sleeping through the night?
When are you going back to work?
When are you going to stop breastfeeding?
How will he be socialized if you stay home? Does he go on play dates?
So I have a few questions too:
Why do you think ALL babies walk by 10 months?
Is it so hard to believe that my child eats a robust variety of fruits, vegetables, lean meat and still breastfeeds?
Did you know that the X chromosome to make a girl comes from a man and that we actually have no say in what the gender of our next child will be?
How is staying home to raise my child not work but if I put him in daycare the child care providers are working?
Are you socialized? Do you go on play dates?
Or better yet, lets talk about some adult milestones:
Did you pay your rent on time this month?
When was the last time you stayed gainfully employed with the same employer for over 2 years?
Do you own your home?
Is your car paid off?
How much money do you have saved for retirement?
Are you still on your momma’s cell phone plan?
Did you vote?
I don’t mean to stymie well meaning people who love my son and are curious about his growth. I just want to let my child grow at his own pace. Bombarding new parents with questions about milestones is a partner to the great evil of child/parenting comparisons. No one wins at that game. I’d rather just enjoy my son and each stage of his development. `